Freedom with Responsibility

I wanted to write a quick note about my classroom approach, just in case we have a few students going home disgruntled this week.

One of the Montessori facets is that children need freedom with limits. We recently came across a new way to phrase this-- freedom with responsibility. The most essential part of this philosophy is that children are not told what to do, but are given a series of choices that result in the desired outcome. "Put on your shoes" becomes, "would you like to put your shoes on by yourself or would you like me to help?" Similarly, "you may use the scissors to cut paper only or you may put them away." The limitation does not come from the teacher/parent, but from the responsibility to get ready in time to leave for school or to use an item appropriately.

During the first few weeks of school children do not tend to push many limits. They are busy absorbing their environment and getting to know the teacher and other students. As a result, I do not have to step in too often to remind a student that coloring on the tables is not ok or that scissors are for paper, not hair. But right around 3.5 weeks, children start searching for the boundaries. Now, I am reminding students how some items are used, or the difference between inside and outside behavior.

I write this not to lament that the 3.5 weeks of bliss are up, but to prepare some parents that their child may feel down about their day at school. I certainly spend a lot of time emphasizing that I am not mad, that I still care and that everyone needs to be reminded every now and then (even Ms. Megan, gasp!). But whenever I see a little face give me the "how dare you" look, I worry that they are carrying that attitude home with them. So please, if your student seems a little disgruntled with that mean Ms. Megan, feel free to carry my message into the home. Ms. Megan is not mad, she does care, but responsibility is tough!